I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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