he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize