Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
