It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
