Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
