That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I wear drunk well.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
