All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
