did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She is in my trunk
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
