Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Randomize
