My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
