wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
