Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Someone shit on the floor
bring money and cleavage
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
