John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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