fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
