do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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