She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
