careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
