I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
