I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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