the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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