TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
