Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The power of my boobs compel you
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
