forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
