my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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