sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
