I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
