My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
