we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
