Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
