totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
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I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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