i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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