I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
