just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
did i just pee glitter
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
