Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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