Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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