D3 body, D1 cock
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
