he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
