I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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