My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
