did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Randomize
