I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
