I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
