Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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