I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
