lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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