You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
