Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
