I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
