she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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