his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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