he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
