I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
