I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
