but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
