I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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