I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
