I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
we're making bets on your personal life
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize