I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
