Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
