you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
