areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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